Trump Notes: Constitution Made EZ
These notes are not a substitute for the text itself or any classroom discussion of the text. and the student who so attempts to use them is denying himself the very education or elective office that he is presumably giving his most tremendous years and many, many, many dollars to achieve. That said? Onto the cheating!!!
PREAMBLE
We the People, the American People, born and bred and never ever immigrated since we were sprung from this very land (like potatoes) in order to provide for our self-defense, cut the welfare programs, and secure the blessings of lower taxes to ourselves and our posterity who will no longer have to pay on capital gains, do ordain and establish this Easy-To-Read Constitution for the United States of America® Pat. Pending.
ARTICLE I:
Section 1. Legislative powers shall be vested in a Congress, which shall consist of a Senate and a House of Representatives, who are approved of by only twelve percent of the public.
Section 2. I think that was enough.
ARTICLE II:
Section 1. The executive power shall be vested in a President. Unless he is a black man and a Kenyan usurper. If not, he shall hold his office for four years, and together with Mike Pence as Vice President will redecorate the White House to his impressive standards.
Section 2. See Section 1.
II CORINTHIANS
Section 1. They walk into a bar... You’re gonna love this one…
ARTICLE III:
Section 1. The judicial power shall be vested in one Supreme Court, who shall hold office after being appointed by the President and “extremely vetted” by the Cato Institute and the N.R.A. These justices shall rule that the federal government has no power to regulate anything and therefore closed, and that all rules devolve from private business, where it belonged in the first place.
Section 2. There is no Section 2.
ARTICLES IV THRU VI
See Articles VII through XII
ARTICLES VII THRU XII
These are the best articles. They are so good that reading them at all would detract from their tremendousness.
Old Version: Too much to read for the Candidate-On-The-Go.
THE AMENDMENTS
THE 1st AMENDMENT. Blah, blah, blah. Say what you will, we are a Christian Nation. The End. Amen.
THE 2nd AMENDMENT. The American People not only have the right to bear arms, they must be forced to. Even if done surgically.
OTHER AMENDMENTS. More blah blah blah. The 8th talks about cruel and unusual punishment but we know that doesn’t mean waterboarding… wink! wink! The 14th supposedly deals with Equal Protection of the laws but the founders’ original intent was never meant it to be taken metaphorically for Muslims or Mexicans. The 16th Amendment allows an income tax… How did that happen? We gotta fix that! The 19th Amendment, well, we cherish women but they’d do better if they keep their traps shut.
That’s it. That wasn’t too hard. It will be even better when it’s made into a short Youtube® Video. Wait for it!
